why me. today I had a young girl humiliate me and now I have taken harsh criticism from Sam. Oh what will I do. I am unable to move out of this misery. It is all consuming. Over the years many people's lives have moved forward and yet mine stays still why? I wish Dr. Gordon were still alive so he could explain this all to me and help me find a way out. I don't know where I will go from here. Sam is right. My fantasy of getting out, of doing something better is just that, a fantasy. I will never get there. I will never have a successful career or have the respect of anyone because it is not in me. If Jennifer saw me now. She would laugh. She would laugh so hard at me, because I am still here, still on the periphery of life. On the outside looking in. No matter how much I try. Does he realize how he has destroyed me. There is nothing that I can do to improve my situation. If he wanted to hurt me so bad he has succeeded. There was a time when I thought I was moving forward but in all these years nothing has changed. I have made momentously bad decisions and life has passed me by. Before I know it I will be 31 years old. I have nothing to show for it. What is he talking about does he even know, because it makes no sense to me. This must be some kind of a joke.